Jax was wearing a cocky grin. He held up a piece of paper with a big A-plus in red ink. “Boom! Aced my World History test.”
I wrapped my arms around him. “How’d you get so smart?”
“History Channel.”
“That’s right, you had cable,” I whispered near his ear.
“You make that sound sexy.”
“It is sexy to a ten-year-old nerd.”
“We’re not ten anymore.”
“I can tell,” I said, and then we were kissing. I reached for the bottom of his T-shirt and pulled it over his head.
He kicked off his shoes while his hands roamed underneath my sweater from my sides to my back. He led me toward the cot, sat down, and then pulled me on top to straddle him. “Take this off,” he said, tugging at my sweater dress. I took it off and his mouth was on me instantly, kissing a trail from my neck to the tops of my breasts. He smoothly unclasped my bra. I dropped my arms and let it fall to the ground.
“God, Em.” He was kissing me all over. “You’re . . .”
“What?”
“You’re so . . . God . . . I want you . . . You’re so beautiful.”
Lying back, he pulled me on top of him and rolled us over so that we were on our sides. He slipped his hand easily inside of the front of my panties but froze. I was gripping his neck and holding his mouth to mine. He pulled away, breathing hard.
Our chests were heaving in and out. His eyes were darting everywhere, from my mouth to my eyes. “What is it, Jax?”
“Is this okay?” He lowered his hand.
“Yes. Just kiss me.”
I got lost in all of the feelings, and before long we were completely naked under a thin sheet, Jackson’s fingers were inside of me, and his mouth was on my neck, kissing me senseless.
Suddenly, his hand was gone, and I whimpered. “No, don’t stop,” I said. He shifted onto his hands and held himself over me. I opened my legs for him and reached down to touch him. “No, don’t, Em.”
When I pulled away, he thrust his hips once. I felt him hard against my thigh. I reached down again, but he quickly moved away from me and sat back on his knees. “Shit, we can’t do this.”
“What? Why?”
“We need protection.” A bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face.
It looked like he was in pain, but I didn’t know if it was mental or physical. “We can do . . . it . . . just once.”
“No! No, that would be so dumb of us.”
I had never seen Jackson completely naked like that. He was beautiful, even at sixteen. “We can do other stuff,” I said.
He swallowed and then nodded before collapsing into my arms.
It could have been hours or days or years that we spent like that, exploring each other, tangled in each other. He made me a million promises that our first time would be perfect and magical, and we would know exactly what to do because everything felt so right when we were together.
AFTER SUNDOWN, WE heard Leila yelling for Jax from the house, but we were still tangled up in the sheets, lying in each other’s arms.
“What should we do?” I asked him.
Jax froze. “Get dressed.” Her voice got closer and closer to the shed as we scurried around, trying to find our clothes. “Don’t make a sound. I have to go. When she leaves for work, I’ll come back out.”
I pulled on my pants and shirt. “Okay.”
Before he left, he reached down and turned off the lamp. “I’m sorry, I have to.”
“It’s fine; just go. Hurry.”
I curled up under a musty blanket and closed my eyes. In the distance, I could hear Jackson talking to his mom, but I couldn’t tell what they were saying, and then their voices got farther and farther away. The shed felt even darker and lonelier. I tried to sleep, but I had been sleeping for most of the day while Jax was at school, so I didn’t feel tired. You couldn’t have much of a life while you were hiding out in a shed.
My stomach was rumbling with hunger as I lay there. There was a sliver of moonlight coming through the tree line and streaming through the window. I stared at it and tried to count the dust particles dancing in the moonbeams. I was thinking mindlessly about kissing Jackson when I heard him yelling outside.
“No!” He was screaming. I could tell that he was running toward the shed. “Em!”
I stood up and bolted out of the door. Flashlights illuminated him from behind, silhouetting him as he ran toward me.
My heart was racing. “Run, Em!” he screamed.
Without another thought, I turned and started running toward the creek. Jackson and I both knew there was nothing for miles. I ran out of fear that we would be torn apart again, of our entire lives changing in the blink of an eye.
The only sounds were of our feet crunching against twigs and leaves and our heaving breaths. When the light faded behind us, we slowed.
“I have to stop, Jax.” I turned to face him. There was just enough moonlight to see him bent over, bracing his knees.
He was breathing hard and his voice was strained. “Fuck! Fuck! That fucking bitch!”
“What happened?”
“She reported me.”